About Depression and Our Lives

Depression in the Elderly

June 28, 2011 By rozpax Leave a Comment

He had been feeling “blue” for two years now. Roger* told me that most days he stayed in bed because he couldn’t think of a good reason to get up. He felt that life was a chore and that he was looking forward to the end of his. When I suggested that he may be clinically depressed and that he might consider visiting with his doctor about his symptoms, he looked at me as if I’d lost my mind. “Why would I do that?” he said. “My only problem is that I’m old. Nonsense.”

Depression is not a normal part of aging. However, the symptoms of depression have often been associated with aging for several reasons:

The symptoms for depression in the aging are often different than from the rest of the population.
Depression can imitate dementia, suggesting to the sufferer and their family that their symptoms are caused by old age.
The elderly often have other major health problems, leading the sufferer and their doctors to believe that their symptoms are caused by their other illnesses or conditions.
The elderly often lose their loved ones and the symptoms of depression are explained away as part of the grief process.

Why don’t the elderly seek treatment for their depression?

It is estimated that while 12 to 20% of the elderly suffer from depression, only 1 to 2% of these individuals ever seek treatment. Why does this happen?

The elderly are often more concerned about society’s reaction to their depression.
The elderly are often afraid of becoming a burden to their loved ones and so they don’t tell anyone they are suffering.
The sense of worthlessness that accompanies depression makes them feel as if they don’t deserve help.
The elderly don’t understand depression any better than the rest of society does.

How does depression present itself in the elderly?

Look for a combination of these symptoms, lasting for a period of two weeks or more:

Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness
Thoughts of suicide. (Listen for statements such as, “I wish God would just come and get me. I wish I just wouldn’t wake up in the morning.”
Tearfulness
Loss of interest or pleasure in activities that formerly appealed to them.
Significant weight loss or weight gain
Marked change in sleep patterns (not able to sleep or sleeping too much)
Extreme agitation
Observable slowness of thought
Feeling tired or having a loss of energy nearly every day
Inappropriate guilt nearly every day
Diminished ability to think or concentrate
Indecisiveness nearly every day
Symptoms that can’t be reasonably explained by bereavement (symptoms more than 2 months)
Feelings of being isolated from everyone (“No one loves me anymore.”)
Persistent headaches, stomach aches, or chronic pain
Withdrawing from family and friends

Why should the elderly seek treatment for their depression?

It is important that the elderly receive treatment for depression because a study, performed by scientists at the National institute on Aging, reported that the prevention and treatment of depression could extend the lives of the elderly, as well as increase their level of life satisfaction. The study also showed that individuals who were very depressed were more likely to have a significant loss of physical ability and that newly depressed men were twice as likely to suffer a cardiovascular event or death than men who had not been depressed. Surprisingly, another study (University of Michigan) showed that having depression increases a person’s risk for disease as high as if they smoked.

What treatments for depression are effective for the elderly?

The good news is that the elderly can be treated for depression as effectively as any other age group. Here are some of the treatments that can help:

Therapy is valuable, as the sufferer’s doctor can help the person understand their feelings, as well as teach them to change their negative thought patterns.

Medication is important, as depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and it is important that this imbalance be corrected so that the person can recover.

Social interaction is very important. A study by the Australian government showed that people who live alone are more likely to suffer from depression. Although it’s hard to interact with other people when depressed, this interaction can help lesson the symptoms.

Reminiscing about the past. An article by ElderCare Online Innovations Inc. states that “reminiscing has strong therapeutic potential for people of all ages, and especially for elderly people… By reminiscing, people can resolve old conflicts, disappointments and guilts, and also strengthen their selfesteem and celebrate the good in their lives.”

*name changed

Filed Under: About Depression and Our Lives

Depression in Children

June 21, 2011 By rozpax Leave a Comment

According to Childhood Disorders (American Psychiatric Association), one in ten children between the ages of six and twelve feels persistently sad or depressed. These overriding feelings indicate that the child is probably suffering from depression. Childhood Disorders provides a list of behaviors that parents should watch for:

A sudden drop in school performance
Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed
Outbursts of shouting, complaining, unexplained irritability, or crying
Thoughts of death or suicide
Expression of fear or anxiety
Aggression, refusal to cooperate, antisocial behavior
Use of alcohol or other drugs
Constant complaints of aching arms, legs, or stomach with no apparent cause

Dr. David Satcher, the surgeon general of the United States released a report entitled, “Agenda for Children’s Mental Health.” The report states that while one in ten children suffer from some sort of mental illness, only 20% receive treatment. This failure to obtain treatment is due to a lack of awareness about depression. If parents, educators, health care workers, clergy and others who work with children aren’t aware of mental illness issues – such as depression – they don’t consider them when dealing with a troubled child.

Additionally, the stigma that still exists in our society about people who have mental illness may prevent a parent from seeking help for their child. They don’t want people to think their child is not okay. This report also points out that even if a parent is willing to obtain help for their child’d depression, they often find it impossible to obtain help. In fact, some parents have had to give up custody for their child to a state agency in order to obtain needed in-patient care.

Dr Satcher stated, “Growing numbers of children are suffering needlessly because their emotional, behavioral and developmental needs are not being met by the institutions and systems that were created to take care of them.”

In commenting about this issue, the editors of the Deseret News (January 6, 2000) stated, “One point is abundantly clear, society will pay for the lack of treatment one way or another. It makes sense from a public policy standpoint to attempt to address small problems early on before they mushroom into large, expensive ordeals.”

If you feel that your child might have depression, please speak to a doctor right away!

Filed Under: About Depression and Our Lives, Management Techniques

Depression and the ADA (American Disabilities Act)

June 14, 2011 By rozpax Leave a Comment

Having a hard time at work because of your depression symptoms? ADA – American Disabilities Act may help you.

I received a phone call from a dear friend recently. During the course of our conversation she revealed to me that she had been diagnosed with bipolar depression five years ago. The conversation went something like this:

Rozanne: “I’m so surprised. I really had no idea.”

Friend: “No one knows. I think I’ve only told about five people so far.”

Rozanne: “Only five people know that you’ve got bipolar depression?”

Friend: “Yes. It even took me a long time to tell my therapist.”

Rozanne: “Why?”

Friend: “I was too ashamed. I didn’t want anyone to think that I was crazy. When my therapist finally found out about it, she got after me. She told me that I had a physical disorder and that it didn’t have anything to do with my testimony or my intellect or with anything that I’d ever done. She told me that I had a disability.”

Rozanne: “That’s right. Serious depression is considered a disability.”

Friend: “I didn’t know that. In fact, I almost lost my job because of my depression. My psychiatrist had been working with me, trying to get my medications balanced. Over the last six months the medications have made it increasingly difficult to think, affecting my cognitive thought processes. It took twice as much effort to do half as much work. Finally, my boss counseled me and told me that if things didn’t change I’d lose my job.”

Rozanne: “Oh, no! What did you do?”

Friend: “I called the ADA (American Disabilities Act) Hotline. They told me about the Family Leave Act, which allows me to take up to twelve weeks off of my job. I found out that when I return to work, I’m guaranteed the same position at the same wage. I’m using it to get medications right and to figure out what I want to do next. I also realized that I had some short-term disability insurance, which provides me some income during this time. When I told my boss about it, he was shocked. He said, ‘Why didn’t you tell me this a year ago? We could have helped you!’ I told him that I was too afraid that he’d think he had an unstable person on his staff. I didn’t think he would understand, but I was wrong.”

Unfortunately, my friend’s experience is not unusual. Most people today that suffer from serious forms of depression are too ashamed to let people around them know what they are facing. The old myths about depression are out there, alive and well…

If you are dealing a serious form of depression, it would be well worth your time to find out if you can get time off to heal via the provisions found in the ADA – American Disabilities Act.

Filed Under: Possible Solutions

Perfectionism: What is it? Can You Overcome it?

October 6, 2010 By rozpax Leave a Comment

“Be ye perfect, even as your Father in Heaven is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48)

Hmmm…
What do you think of when you read these very familiar words of Christ? Do they create a feeling of hopelessness because you aren’t perfect and you just can’t imagine that you ever will be?

I’ll bet you try to be, don’t you? You get up every morning, resolving with everything that is in you that this will be the day that you do it. You will:

Manage to speak kindly to every member of your family no matter what. (Yes, you will – even if your teenager chooses to hide the remote from his siblings which always results in a fray developing in your basement that resembles the beginnings of World War III….)
Get that pile of laundry that is beginning to look like Mount Whitney done.
Feed your family delicious and nutritious meals. (No, that doesn’t mean that you will throw the wrapper from the instant frozen casserole away and try to pass it off as “homemade.”)
Wear matching shoes to work.

And then (sigh…) you stagger into your bedroom at night and collapse in a heap. You didn’t make it, did you?

You ate the chocolate candy bar about 3:00 p.m. after your boss told you that he was giving you “just one more assignment.” You snapped at your husband because he forgot to take the garbage cans to the curb and it’s beginning to smell by the side of your house (what will the neighbors think…), and you yelled at your daughter when she spilled the milk all over your new carpet.

What will you ever do?

If you are trying to attain the level of perfectionism in which you never make a mistake, you are are going to be disappointed. You might as well realize right now that you are a human being and, as such, you are inclined to make mistakes.

May I ask you a question? Does the idea that you can’t be perfect make your heart skip a beat? Does it feel painful to think that you can’t be perfect?

If so, you aren’t alone. Many people feel this way and you know what happens to them?

That’s right. They become depressed.

An article written by Dr. Sidney J Blatt (“The Destructiveness of Perfectionism: Implications for the Treatment of Depression,” American Psychological
Association’s [APA] American Psychologist, Vol. 49. No. 12) suggests that there are three kinds of perfectionism:

Being so hard on yourself and expecting such unrealistic things of yourself that you doom yourself to feel like a failure.
Believing that other people are expecting such unrealistic things of you that you can never win anyone’s approval.
Demanding that other people meet unrealistic standards of perfectionism in order for you to accept them.

It is important to know about these types of perfectionism because Dr. Blatt points out that your level of perfectionism can have an impact on any therapy you receive for depression. He points out that a perfectionist usually requires longer periods of therapy to resolve their depressive feelings.

Where do these unrealistic feelings of perfectionism come from?

Perfection is based on the most common desire of all people – to be accepted. Unfortunately for a perfectionist, their feelings about being accepted become exaggerated to the point that instead of being the lit match that leads one to personal growth, they become a bonfire that consumes every aspect of the perfectionist’s life. The perfectionist becomes so afraid of failing, so afraid of making mistakes, so afraid of disapproval that they literally become paralyzed. They begin to exhibit what is known as “all or nothing” thinking, which means that if they accidentally go to church with a run in their nylons, they have failed so terribly that they might have well stayed in bed that morning.

In “Today’s Woman: All Things to All People?” (LDS Women’s Treasury: Insights and Inspiration for Today’s Woman [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1997], 134.), Joann Larsen tell us, “The ultimate perfectionist pays a price for her perfectionism in that she fights for her self-esteem every minute of her life because every detail undone accuses her of not doing her job. In that sense, the price she pays is that she is not free; her life is controlled by her list of unaccomplished things. In addition, the perfectionist’s drive to achieve imposes high costs to her physical and emotional well-being and may even eventually erode her energy and ability to cope, plunging her into burnout or depression.”

So then – if perfectionism is a problem – what did Christ mean by being “perfect even as Father in Heaven” is?

In the Miracle of Forgiveness (209), Spencer W. Kimball told us that “being perfect means to triumph over sin.” We do this through by accessing the Perfectionism of the Atonement of Christ, receiving forgiveness for our sins, and thus we become perfect through Him.

Just consider this for a moment. If it were possible to achieve perfection on our own, would we need Christ? If we were able to come down to earth, beat ourselves about a bit, and get ourselves under control simply by willing it, we wouldn’t need anyone to be our Savior.

Think about that term: Savior. It implies that we needed to be saved and that someone saved us. That someone was Christ and the fact that He did atone for our sins and that we can be forgiven of them – despite our imperfections – brings us to our knees in gratitude, once we become aware of the magnitude of the gift He offers.

Now we just have to believe that He means us when He speaks of forgiveness, because, for the perfectionist, there is always some little piece of us somewhere that wants to believe that we are beyond even the help that Christ offers. We think that, somehow, we have achieved a level of being so imperfect that we can’t be redeemed. “I’m too hopeless,” we think quietly to ourselves, afraid that if anyone knew the real truth about us, we would be totally and completely rejected. But Christ atoned for everyone’s sins. Even mine. Even yours.

How can we deal with perfectionism?

Here are some things that you can try:

Relax your standards. You don’t have to do everything well. Decide what is the most important to you and do that thing well. Reconsider your position. Maybe average really isn’t that bad.
Set small goals that can be achieved. Reward yourself if you achieve one of these goals.
Focus on the journey, not the outcome. Enjoy the ride.
When you start feeling depressed, use the moment to ask yourself if you have set up yourself to fail. Have you been unrealistic in your expectations?
When you recognize that you won’t be able to achieve what you are shooting for, ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that could happen?” Make yourself face your fears.
Learn to tell the difference between sin and failure to reach your goals. There is a difference. Do you know what it is?
When you are shooting for the moon and you reach the stars, look around you and see how wonderful it is that you got to experience the stars. Maybe the stars were the best destination for you anyway.

Find how how I beat depression!

Photo by ewitch

Filed Under: How Depression Affects Our Lives

My Story of Beating Depression

October 4, 2010 By rozpax Leave a Comment

Dear Friend,

You only have one life to live. This one.

But if you are struggling with depression, sometimes you just don’t feel like you want to continue living the life you’ve been given. You feel cheated. Unworthy. Unloved. Guilty. Angry. Useless. And you hurt physically, which surprises you because depression is supposed to be strictly an emotional or mental illness.

But often the worst thing about depression is the isolation. You feel isolated because either you are ashamed, frightened, or embarrassed to tell anyone how you are feeling. You don’t want them to look down at you. You don’t want them to think you are “crazy.”

And so you struggle alone. You wonder what’s wrong with you. You try to find out what the signs of depression are. You wonder what it’s like to get treatment for your depression. You may even think that depression treatment is frightening. You may know the cause of your depression, but then, again, you may not because everything in your life may seem “perfect” from the outside.

But you are still depressed.

I know what it’s like. When I went through my worst period of depression, I thought that I was completely alone – and unique. And I was desperate to read a book about a woman like me – a woman who believed deeply in Christ but still felt suicidal - and what she went through as she recovered from depression.

I wanted to know that there was light at the end of the tunnel.

I went from bookstore to bookstore in my community, looking for something to read – a true story of someone who had gone through major depression and who had survived, and perhaps, even thrived because of it. I wanted to know that I could be cured of depression. But this book simply was not to be found. I had to go through my experience feeling completely alone.

When it had passed – when the light finally shone on my face once more – I knew that I had to tell my own story. And I knew that I had to tell it in a way that others could see themselves and believe that they, too, could become well again. I had to give my readers a peek into my life and into my mind.

As you have guessed, I managed to get it done. And published. And into people’s hands, which has been a wonderful experience because my readers have told me how much my story has helped them.

I’m hoping that it might help you, too.

Exposing my inner mind was risky. Before I published my book, some of my friends and family worried that I revealed too much. But I knew in my heart that whatever I gave up personally was a small price to pay for the hope that it could give other people. I believed that people out there NEEDED to read my story and that my book might even save lives.

My book is named Up the Down Hill: One woman’s struggle to survive major depression, and here’s what a few of my readers have said about it:

“Once in a while, as a therapist, I come across a personal work that is worthy of passing along to my fellow therapists and my clients. It is not very often that I have found something that would be both helpful to not only members of The Church of Jesus Christ and those who come from different religious backgrounds, but also to my colleagues. The story of this journey is such an effort. It is one that can help both therapist and client. It is helpful for us as therapists to know what is in the heart and mind of our clients. Sometimes hearing it does not register as well as the written word, because sometimes our clients don’t express out loud what they really feel for fear of hurting another or for fear of driving them away. I believe it helps other clients to know that they are not the only ones who struggle with feelings of despair and depression and to know they are not alone – that a light at the end of the tunnel really exists.

“It is my hope that as you read this story about one woman’s journey that you will realize your own vulnerability and that it could be you at any given time. We are all subject to the ills of this word, and ‘good’ people struggle with their own ‘wilderness’ experiences. No one is immune. But isn’t it wonderful that we have this opportunity to learn how to be there for one another from someone who has been willing to share the depths of her struggle with us? It is also my hope that you, the reader, will learn how to reach out to others if you should happen to fall into your own pit of despair during your lifetime. May the reading of this story offer a learning experience that helps you understand and be understood.” - Katharine Abbott, Ph.D.

“I began reading it during my lunch hour and became dismayed once I realized that I couldn’t stand to stop reading it so that I could return to my workday. I just had to order the book. I’m going to get all of my daughters a copy of their own so they will understand what the depression they have is all about.” - Vicky

“Last summer, my daughter-in-law was hospitalized because she became so depressed. I couldn’t understand what was going on with her and I’m afraid that I was quite harsh with her. Since I have read your book, I feel that I now understand my daughter-in-law, and I know that I will be more compassionate with her now. Thank you for being brave enough to tell your story.” - Pat

“After I read your book, I just had to call my mum in Dublin to tell her about it. It is so beautifully written.” – Christopher

“After I read your book, I just had to get my own copy. I want to go through it and underline all of the things I want to remember so that I can use them in my own life. I’m going to tell all of my friends about it.” – Angie

“I started reading your book and couldn’t put it down. I’m going to get my husband one of his own because he is suffering from depression right now. Thanks for doing this.” – Emily

“I took the opportunity to read your book and wanted you to know how much I admire your courage in writing the book and sharing your experience with others. Some of my family members suffer from depression, and your book helped me understand them better.” – Evelyn

“A true story of one woman’s journey from the depths of depression to a full and happy life. If you suffer from depression, Up the Down Hill may help you in your struggle out of its depths. This courageous description of her experience is written with frankness and honesty that will help change attitudes to depression and mental illness. - Depression Web-World

“I mainly wanted to tell you how much I appreciated your eBook – Up the Down Hill. Your experiences have been very, very similar to mine…. Thank you again for your book and the helpful coping skills it re-introduced to me and the new ones, too!” – Audrey

Now that my book has been out for many years, and I have had a chance to hear from my readers, I know that the struggle to write and publish it was worth it. I’ve been grateful to know that telling my story has made a difference.

How to Purchase an eBook copy (fastest way to get it)

The fastest way to order the eBook is directly online. You will pay via ClickBank. When you request that the book be sent to you online, you will be able to download it immediately. Price: $14.99 (US)

How to Purchase a hard copy

If you’d like a hard copy (a “real” book) of Up the Down Hill, it is available through traditional book sellers (you may have to special-order it) or through other sources, such as Amazon.com.

All the best to you,

Rozanne

Filed Under: My Story